Bullying in sports causes the same harm as bullying in school. In both cases, victims feel hurt, alone and depressed.
In sport, and in school, it’s common for a victim’s performance to suffer. They may also withdraw from social interactions and exhibit symptoms depression outlined below.
The feelings of isolation and detachment associated with bullying can prevent people from reporting it. As a result, bullying in sports and at school may be more pervasive than we think.
What is Bullying?
Bullying is the act of deliberately injuring a person through verbal, social, physical or psychological abuse, that is often repetitive. Groups or single perpetrators can enact bullying.
In either case, bullying includes a power imbalance where the bully holds some form of power over the victim. This power could be social, mental, financial or physical in nature. Examples of bullying in sport include:
- Verbally teasing, belittling, or humiliating an athlete over physical, mental, social, or financial disadvantages
- Verbally intimidating or threatening an athlete
- Physically intimidating or assaulting an athlete
- Intentionally and systematically excluding or alienating an athlete
- Spreading rumors about an athlete
The widespread use of smartphones and social media now make it possible for bullying to occur online. Because bullying can extend from off-line to online, victims may feel that they cannot escape their bully. This traumatic experience makes it all the more important for parents, administrators and coaches to work together to stop bullying in sports.
Bullying Statistics in the USA, Canada and the United Kingdom
In the United States, 28% of kids in grades 6-12 report being bullied. Of those youth, kids that identify as LGTBQ are at especially high risk. An overwhelming 85% of LGTBQ youth report being bullied and 40% report being physically assaulted.
In Canada, approximately 33% of adolescents report being bullied, while LGTBQ youth in Canada report a rate of discrimination three times higher than their non-LGTBQ peers. Statistics Canada also finds that any participation in bullying raises the risk of suicide.
Lastly, an annual survey in the United Kingdom has found that 22% of those surveyed reported being bullied. Of those, 36% reported having suicidal thoughts and 11% reported attempting suicide. That’s an alarmingly high percentage, which is why there’s been an increase in bullying prevention around the world.
Stop Bullying in Sports
We know that bullying is a serious issue with potentially life-threatening affects among youth. So how can coaches, parents and administrators help stop bullying in sports?
We’ve created the following 6 steps to help your club start a proactive conversation.
1) Start the Conversation about Bullying in Sports Before any Incidents Occur
Coaches may look at youth in their club or on their teams and think, “none of these kids could be bullies”, and that’s a healthy thought to have. It’s healthy to expect the best from the kids you coach but it may not always be realistic.
The truth is that kids have coping mechanisms that can hide abusive behavior. The bully on your sports team or in your class, may have developed a coping mechanism from living in an abusive or difficult household. And bullies like this, can be very well-behaved in front of coaches.
So, don’t rely on your gut when it comes to bullying. It’s not your fault. The fact is, you simply may not be able to witness the bullying that takes place in your own club, or on your own team.
Starting each season with a conversation about bullying awareness is a good way to try and stop bullying before it begins.
Create a more open environment where bullying can’t hide. Coaches should let youth know that bullying is not accepted, and that anyone who experiences or witnesses bullying should tell an adult.
2) Understand the Person Who is Bullying
The previous point touched on this, but it’s important to reinforce. A person who is bullying others is likely lashing out for attention, or mimicking the behavior they witness. This can mean that youth who are bullies may be bullied in another area of their life.
It’s not uncommon for children who are bullying at school to be bullied at home by siblings or parents. The not-for-profit, STOMP Out Bullying explains that bullying is “learned behavior which can be unlearned.”
The idea of unlearning is an important thing to understand. A youth that may be bullying others at your sports club or class, can be taught to correct their behavior. Moreover, youth that are bullying others, are not “evil” or “bad”. In reality, bullies are just regular kids caught in a bad cycle of behavior.
3) Be Clear About the Cause of Bullying
Bullying in sports can make the bullied child feel inferior. And this feeling of inferiority can cause the person being bullied to feel as if they are to blame.
This means victims can easily begin to believe the cruel words thrown at them. They may even start to reaffirm the bully’s words with their own thought patterns. After repetitively hearing insults about “being fat” a youth may start to think, “I’m being bullied because I’m fat.”
Of course, this isn’t true.
A person is bullied because the bully has an issue they feel they can’t resolve.
Bullies may be worried about fitting in, or they may feel stupid or weak. Some bullies may even bully others to avoid being bullied themselves.
Whatever the reason, it’s important that coaches clearly communicate with youth to let them know that being bullied is not their fault. Furthermore, kids must be told that the words a bully says are not a true reflection of the situation.
4) Listen Attentively When Told About Bullying in Sports
Sometimes athletics carry the idea that athletes need to be tough. But coaches shouldn’t let this idea bleed into their communications with athletes… especially when dealing with bullying in sports.
When an athlete approaches a coach to talk about bullying, they are going to be nervous. They may not even want to have the conversation, but feel compelled by a sense of injustice.
Some coaches may want to dismiss the athlete with a smile and a simple comment, “Don’t worry, I’m sure it was nothing.” Again, it’s healthy to want to believe your club or class is a bully-free environment. But it’s unhealthy not to investigate a reported instance of bullying.
So, when an athlete comes forward, it’s extremely important to give them your full attention.
Even if you’re in the middle of a drill, make sure you turn your attention to the athlete and listen to what they’re saying. If need be, have another coach or assistant run the drill while you listen.
Thank the athlete, after they share their story. It takes courage to come forward so be sure to tell them that too.
5) Encourage Direct Communication, When Appropriate
If a coach becomes aware about bullying, the first step is to talk with your other coaches and assess the situation. If the situation sounds high-risk or dangerous, it’s best to speak with coaches, administrators, parents, and professionals about next-steps (more on that below).
However, if it’s determined that the situation may be best resolved through discussion, it’s best to encourage and guide a direct conversation between the bully and their victim.
This is partly because some cases of bullying are more subjective than others. What one person finds offensive may not seem offensive to another person. So, a bully may not understand the impact of their words.
As mentioned above, some bullies are victims of bullying at home, or elsewhere. So, the bully may even feel a sense of camaraderie with the youth they’ve been bullying, because they’ve felt the same way.
In cases where the bully is unaware of the affects of their actions, a conversation with the coach’s involvement can allow the bullied individual to share their feelings in a safe environment.
It requires some thought to determine whether or not parents of both youths need to be involved. If the bully is a victim of abuse at home, it may be best to mediate the discussion without parental involvement. In situations such as these, it’s best to discuss the bullying instance with other coaches and administrators in order to determine the best way to mediate.
We also recommend this article by Ditch The Label, entitled “How to Speak to Somebody Who is Bullying You.”
6) Learn How to Spot Depression
People don’t always report bullying in sports. Sometimes bullying can go on right under the coaches nose for extended periods of time without their knowledge. For this reason, it’s important to be on the lookout for the effects of bullying. Specifically, all coaches, parents and administrators should keep an eye out for depression in kids.
The signs of depression differ from child to child. Some react more aggressively, while many isolate themselves. Like any issue concerning mental health, if a coach believes they see signs of depression in a child it’s best to talk to other coaches, administrators, parents and professionals.
Here are a few signs of depression to look out for:
- displaying prolonged sadness
- withdrawing from social events and general social interaction
- showing prolonged fatigue or lethargy
- becoming increasingly sensitive to criticism or rejection
- talking negatively about themselves
- talking about wanting to harm themselves
- loss of appetite
- trouble sleeping and/or focusing
Getting in Touch with Mental Health Professionals
In cases of mental health crisis in Canada, you can connect with a crisis center listed here. In the United States, you can call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or find more resources at Mental Health America. And in the UK, you can call 116 123 or find more resources on the NHS site.
Bullying Awareness for Adults
Bullying awareness isn’t just for youth. According to Statistics Canada, up to 40% of adults report being bullied on a weekly basis in the work place.
It’s not uncommon for adults to try and ignore this sort of behavior and pretend everything is fine. But, we can’t spot bullying in our children’s sports if we learn to ignore this behavior in the workplace.
When an airplane releases its oxygen masks, what are the instructions? Parents should secure their own oxygen mask before attending to their child’s mask. Are we strong enough to do the same thing with bullying?
If we adults try to stop bullying in our workplaces, we’ll be that much better equipped to stop bullying in sports and at school.
At Uplifter we stress the importance of collaborative team-work and maintaining a healthy work-life balance to foster a positive work environment for our team.
But the best step to stop bullying in the workplace is always clear and direct communication between colleagues from the top of an organization down to the bottom. If you’re ever worried about bullying in your work place, we recommend reading this resource from the Canadian Center for Occupational Health and Safety.
